Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Time to say goodbye!

To put it simply, today was an amazing day. I used my last day off to wander around the city that I’ve come to love and reflect on the last five months here. I now sit here tonight, writing my last blog post from the very same seat in Chelsea Potter that I wrote my first one. It’s funny how God has a way of bringing things full circle.

There will never be enough words to describe how grateful I am for the time He’s given me in London. There will never be enough time to share all the memories nor all the things that I’ve learned while being here. To put it simply, I feel as though there has been a shift in my heart. That God has used the past five months to slowly mold me and shape me- to propel into the woman He created me to be.

I came here without expectations; without motive or agenda. I didn’t have a clue what God was going to do in my heart or how He planned to weave his spirit and teachings in and out of my days. His call for me in London was simple: to Come Away with him. Through this season, I have learned more about myself, than I think I ever have before. I’ve learned my likes and dislikes, what brings me joy and what brings me heartache. I’ve learned the importance of my faith and in a place of desperation that the only thing I need is my relationship with Christ. That He alone will sustain me. That each day- with or without seeing a familiar face or touching someone that I love—I can be filled. I can wake up  refreshed, full, and happy to be who I am- for solely relying on Him… I think that overall, that’s been one of the most important lessons that I’ve learned since being here.

Now, that being said- it’s also taught me how incredibly blessed I am to have the relationships that I do, and the importance in cherishing and sustaining those bonds. It seems like forever since I have been in and amongst a community of people who KNOW me. Who understand me without explanation or expectations, and who will allow me to just be me. Although I've taken full advantage of my alone time here- I am eager to get home and be surrounded once again by loved ones!

Dana and I went out for dinner earlier this week and it wasn't until then that I realized how much I’m going to miss working for this family. Somehow, Dana and the girls have woven themselves into the deepest parts of my heart and are so much of my life here in London. As a tribute to what the little ones have taught me- here is a lesson I wrote about a few months ago:


I find it a little amusing sitting in the middle of a pub, journaling about a Bible verse and what I’ve learned. But I must admit- I’m so happy here! I’m so happy in this place! I love having a cold Guinness and talking about the love of God… even if it's only to myself. Beer and the Bible… two of my favorite things. 

Back to Proverbs 31. I understand that this passage was written quite some time ago and speaks about things that I can't fully relate to (selecting wool and flax… sewing linens for the kiddos.. yada yada). However, aside from the minor differences in eras, I found this passage to be simple, yet revolutionary. I long to be a woman of noble character- and somewhere inside, I feel that I am slowly becoming just that. I may stumble (more often than not) but I am doing my best to fulfill these wise words. I would be honored for someone to one day say, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue”. And that’s not even touching on the confidence her husband has in her, or that she brings him good and not evil, or that she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy!

There is much to take away from reading this proverb, but one of the lines that has been speaking to me is, ‘She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks’. When I first read this, I thought to myself- if a woman of noble character works vigorously on her tasks- not matter how small… I better pick up the pace!

If I’m going to be honest with myself, before this week I was beginning to “let go of things”… not taking too much joy in washing dishes or cleaning the toys. I had become indifferent to some of the tasks that being a nanny entails and found the daily chores to be quite mundane. As many of you know, I’m already a skilled procrastinator—now imagine my To-Do List containing scrubbing the baby oil out of the greased up tub, emptying the diaper bins, or pureeing broccoli and cauliflower (it smells just as bad as the diaper bin). Yes, those were the last and I mean the very LAST things on my list.

However, after reading Proverbs 31, something changed inside of me. I began to realize that if I want to be a woman of noble character- I need to make some adjustments. I want my future husband to be proud of the woman that which he’s married. I want not only to honor myself through my everyday actions, but more importantly, bring honor to God. 

Once again, this little seed of a passage began to take root in my everyday actions. To put it simply- I started seeing things with a totally new perspective. These were no longer miniscule tasks on my To-Do List… they became my means to serve. Not necessarily serving one person in particular, but serving the God inside each of them. I know it sounds silly- but its true! Even the smallest request- the smallest task, I took on with great pride. I was determined to set about my work vigorously! I was going to scrub that tub until it was shiny. The diaper bin never reached its limit! And the pureeing? I steamed that broccoli and cauliflower as it it was a sweet fragrance! My embarrassment from singing nursery rhymes on the streets moved to joy as I took on the role of ‘Little Bo Peep’ and of course ‘ Ol mcDonald’. My frustration with getting puked and peed on turned into pleasantry as I knew I would be wiping clean a beautiful child.

My tasks may seem small to you- but they have become life to me. I am both honored and blessed to serve a 6 and 20 month old. They are not only those that I serve, but my teachers and sources of love and affection as well. I will be forever grateful for what these two have taught me about growing into a woman of Proverbs 31. 
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.


As much as I am going to miss the little munchkins here- I am more at peace with moving home than I could have imagined. I take this season and chapter of my life for what it is and will forever be filled with joy when thinking about it. However, I know that my time here is over and I'm okay with that. I'm ready to return to Michigan and pour into the next step that God has planned for me. To be honest, I still don’t know what that is. Is it something as extravagant as moving across the ocean? No, but I know in my heart that it’s right. I’ve been praying for guidance for months now and am at last simply taking refuge in His promise- that His will is perfect. Wherever I am, whatever I'm doing- His work is being done.

For those of you who have ended up reading this- thanks for bearing with me. I apologize for my major lack of updates! I apologize all the more for the birthdays, weddings, graduation parties, showers, and special events that I have missed out on since being over here-- please know that I love you and wished more than anything that I could be there! 

It's now approximately 48 hours until I land on American soil and couldn't be more excited to see you all! Pray for safe travels and I will see you shortly!

1 comment:

  1. Lindsey, you are beautiful in every way! May God continue to bless you!